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And the Losers Are...
Nokia N-Gage (2003) price at launch $299
It's a game system, it's a cell phone and it does neither right. The rule of consumer electronics is: If
another company is making a similar product & you can neither innovate nor improve you are wasting time & money.
Why, oh why Nokia did you choose to challenge the Nintendo Game Boy Advance SP with such a clearly inferior product as the
N-Gage? If SNK couldn't topple them with the at that time superior Neo Geo Pocket Color, what makes you think you stand
a chance? That Xtreme ad campaign isn't helping you much either.
Why It Sucks
We'll get to the crappy software lineup in a moment, there's plenty here to dislike.
- $299 for a handheld system and a phone you look stupid talking on.
- Button layout is akward to the XTREME!
- The blurry vertical screen paired with iffy colors makes some games hard to see.
- Having to remove the hard to remove back cover & battery pack just to switch games.
Games
sample games from launch: Tomb Raider, Tony Hawk Pro Skater, Pandemonium, Puzzle Bobble VS.
average game price: $34.99
Oh gosh Nokia, can I really pay $35 for small blurry versions of old PSone games that retail for less than $10 each now?
Lucky me!
Virtual Boy (1995) $179
Enter the world of 3D! Just like
in Lawnmower Man, which coincidentally, also sucked.
Why It Sucked
I could go on for days about bad timing, in-house competition, simplistic games,
yadda yadda. Lets be honest there is only one reason the Virtual Boy failed. It was unhealthy.
- play 2 minutes, get a headache
- play 5 minutes, get a backache
- play longer and you get permanent retinal damage, yay, what fun!
Games
sample games: Red Alarm,
Mario Dream Tennis (also red), TeleRoboxer (also red)
average game price: $40-$50
3DO (1993) price at launch $700
The first 32-bit system, whoopdidoo! It's hard to get excited about 32-bit FMV games, the Spam to my gaming ham.
Why It Sucked
If the crappy FMV games dug this one's grave it was Trip Hawkins who was filling in the hole. Part showman, part
con man, Trip took us all for a ride. But look who's laughing now. Let's also not forget that the heydays of both
PC and Playstation were closing in, bad timing, poor choices. Oh well, good thing no one cares.
Games
sample games: Sewer Shark, VR Stalker, Alone in the Dark
average game price: $30-$40
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