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Q: Why
would niggaz push pounds and powder?
A: Why are you asking me? Aren’t you
the one, in all your other songs going on and on about all the drugs you sell and all the asses you pop caps in? Why are you trying to get me to explain your behavior to you?
Q: Why
did Bush knock down the towers?
A: Excuse me? Look I’m a pretty liberal
person and I’m certainly didn’t vote for Bush (either time, though as a Floridian, the first vote didn’t
count) but that is some ignorant shit you just said. Here Jadakiss, I’ve
got a question for you: why are you such a fucking moron?
Q: Why
you around them cowards?
A: Oh I’m sorry we can’t all be crappy rappers that brag about hardcore shit
we never do.
Q: Why
Aaliyah have to take that flight?
A: Oh thanks for bumming me out.
Q: Why my nigga D ain't pull out his Ferrari? Why he take that bike?
A: He got his license
taken away for drivng after takin’ straight shots instead of poppin’ the Chriss.
Q: Why they gotta open your package and read your mail?
A: Stop labeling
them “Free Tater Tots Inside”.
Q: Why they stop lettin' niggaz get degreez in jail?
A: Because niggaz insist on spelling it “degreez”. Nobody wants their doctor saying things like “Yo, you gots some whack brain tumorz up in yo skull,
G!”
Q: Why you gotta do eighty-five percent of your time?
A: I don’t
know, you should really be doing 100%, but there are so many of you trick ass thugs in the system, quite often the prisons
have to let you out early.
Q:
And why do niggaz lie in eighty-five percent of they rhymes?
A: Oh I think you’d
be in a better position to answer that one.
Q: Why
a nigga always want what he can't have?
A: Everybody’s like that. You want
to be a great rapper, I want Orlando Bloom as my pool boy, and it’s just not going to happen.
Q: Why
I can't come through in the pecan Jag?
A: I really have no idea what you’re talking about.
Q: Why
did crack have to hit so hard?
A: It was a combination of factors; crack can be created cheaply with relatively little
skill for a high profit. In addition, by dissolving the cocaine alkaloid into
a solid state which can then be smoked, it produces a more intense high that wears off over time; encouraging the user to
ingest larger quantities of crack to achieve the high. You can learn more about
crack and it’s impact on inner-city communities here.
Q: Why
niggaz can't get no jobs?
A: Cause niggaz ain’t got no degreez and I can
totally relate my friend.
Q: Why
they come up wit the witness protection?
A: For every good question you ask, you turn around and ask 10 completely retarded ones. They created witness protection to protect witnesses from fucktards like you and your
“set” who try to murder them for witnessing crimes you committed, geez!
Q: Why they let the terminator win the election?
Come on, pay attention?
A: I am paying
attention, I only wish I wasn’t. Jadakiss, the Terminator won the election
because he ran. If the Terminator ran for president he’d get elected, even
if he ran with the T-1000 as his running mate or even someone Jewish. He would
still get elected because he’s the fucking Terminator and people are really, really stupid when it comes to the government
to the point where they would vote someone fictional into office.
Q: Why sell in the stores what you can sell in the streets?
A:
Seriously? You are asking me why we sell things indoors? Look, several thousand years ago the human race invented a little something called walls. Among their many uses, walls (coupled with another invention, electricity) tend to make the whole shopping
experience more enjoyable. Now I’ll admit some things should be sold outside,
manure for example. Also the streets are often the one stop shop for poorly constructed
unicorn emblazoned rugs and velvet paintings of dolphins, which is probably because they are not welcome in most stores. But to sell everything in the streets? That
is just really amazingly dumb. I mean I didn’t think you could surprise
me with your stupidity at this point but I was so wrong.
Q: Why I say the hottest shit but be sellin' the least?
A: Heh, yeah
that’s a puzzler. Those sales figures from the streets are hard to track
I bet.
Q: Why Halle have to let a white man pop her to get a Oscar?
A: Ok, that’s
a good question. Monster’s Ball, not an awful movie, not my cup of tea,
not an Oscar winning movie if you ask me. Halle Berry, not an Oscar winning actress,
I mean she’s done some good work. But for the most part she does stuff
like BAPS and Catwoman. Even when she does something halfway decent, like X-Men,
she winds up being the least talented of the bunch. Seriously professional models
out acted her, sad.
Q: Why Denzel have to be crooked before he took it?
A: Another
good question. I love Denzel, he is an excellent actor, he has deserved several
Oscars before this one he got for Training Day. And the thing is, he shouldn’t
have gotten this one. Russell Crowe got totally robbed on Oscar night. I didn’t even like A Beautiful Mind but I knew his was the better performance. Denzel is a great actor, but Russell was the one who should have won.
Good question, Jadakiss. I think here you have touched on the larger question
of what roles a black actor is given and why is it that black actors are only rewarded when they portray stereotypes. We could go on all night about how much it annoys me that a great actor like Cuba
Gooding Jr. is stuck in crap like Snow Dogs and why another great actor, Samuel L. Jackson is stuck playing the same bad motherfucker
in every movie when he is capable of such range. And why is it that the quickest
way for a woman to get an Oscar is to play the hooker with the heart of gold? I
mean really, Jadakiss, what the fuck!?
Q: Why
they didn't make the CL6 wit a clutch?
A: That’s like a $95,000 car, I am not the person you should be asking that question
cause you’re libel to get an answer like “Stop bitching about the small inconviences of being rich, asshole.”
Q: And if you don't smoke why the hell you reachin' for my dutch?
A: Oh, sorry.
Is that your Dutch? I just thought there was enough Johannes Vermeer for all
of us, is this because I didn’t share my cake with your niggaz?
Q: Why rap, cause I need air time
A: Thank
you for answering that one yourself, you wouldn’t have liked my answer anyway.
Q: Why be on the curb wit a “Why lie, I need a beer” sign?
A: Honesty sometimes nets you bigger returns than subterfuge.
Q: Why all the young niggaz is dyin'?
Cause they moms at work, they
pops is gone, they livin' wit iron
A: Again you
answer your own question, good. Still I think your answer may have trivialized
the question.
Q: Why they ain't give us a cure for aids?
A: Virus’
are very difficult to cure, they mutate unexpectedly and rapidly. It is a very
tricky and tragic situation.
Q: Why my diesel have fiends in the spot on the floor for days?
A: Uh? What, is that a drug reference or something?
Are you perhaps alluding to Vin Diesel being a talented stand up comic? You
have completely lost me with your terminology.
Q: Why you screamin' like it's slug, it's only the hawk?
A: Again, wha?
Q: Why my buzz in L.A. ain't like it is in New York?
A: Probably
because you’ve got no love for the Terminator. Also you kind of suck and
they already have enough things that suck. I mean just having Michael Bay meets
L.A.s quota.
Q: Why you forcin' you to be hard?
A: Actually
I’m naturally hard, it’s the soft and sweet part of me that is the act.
Q: Why ain't you a thug by choice?
A: Perhaps because being a thug is a bad idea.
Q: Why the whole world love my voice?
A: Oh no,
you haven’t worn me down enough with all your idiotic questions to get me to let that slip by. The whole world isn’t in love with your voice, Mr. “I be sellin the least”, only you
are.
Q: Why
try to tell 'em that it's the flow son?
A:
You have just given up on rhyming entirely, haven’t you? Fine, I’m
giving up on you too.
Q: And you know why they made the new twenties?
Cause I got all my old ones. That's why
A:
You know the old twenties are still being accepted. Maybe not by those
10 cent CD street vendors, but try them in an actual store sometime, jackass.
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