Juggalo/Jugalette: an obsessive fan of the Horror Rock group Insane Clown Posse. "Sup, Ninja?"

 

Horror Rock is a very silly genre, like Bluegrass or Christian Rap. It's the kind or music you eventually grow out of once you get a life & can no longer relate to the message of disenfranchisement. If you are building your lifestyle around a genre of music as opposed to building your lifestyle around your values, beliefs and accomplishments you are wasting the brief amount of time you have on this earth. Look I like Coldplay but you don't see me running around with a British accent and a Chris Martin mask on. That's because I have a grasp on the whisper thin line between reality & fantasy.

 

Potential Dangers:
The most basic danger of encountering Juggalos and/or Juggalo paraphernalia is that they are basically young people dressed as unstable clowns. Like most teen based fads Juggalos have their own special "lingo" which is incredibly annoying and pisses me off to no end. Many Juggalos are under the incorrect impression that their fandom excludes them from the rules of spelling, grammar and sentence structure.

 

Interesting Juggalo Fact:
Many Juggalos who post in online forums often bemoan the existence of so-called "Wannabe Juggalos". The only problem with this is that I seriously doubt that becoming a Juggalo is such a complex ritual that someone could possibly fail and become a "Wannabe Juggalo".

 

Bizarre Spinoffs:
Some young female Jugalettes who were apparently abused by their Juggalo dads have gone into the hobby of hardcore amateur Juggalo porn.

ICP is a huge supporter of "Backyard Wrestling" While I fully support teenagers dying in freak accidents caused by their own stupidity, I see no reason that clown makeup has to be involved.

 

A Plea to the Juggalos:
If you are a Juggalo/Jugalette I just want you to stop. Or at least keep it off the internet, because there are other people on the internet & we put up with enough shit with the furries, so why you too? Trust me high school will be over soon, at most you only have 4 more years to go (unless you are working the six year plan) so just tough it out. Wipe off the grease paint, put on a shirt, and feed your baby because babies grow on Gerber not Faygo.

 

Otaku - a fan of Japanese animation or manga (comics) who take their fandom to obsessive levels, i.e. cosplay, fanfiction, obsessive collecting.  In this case I am refering to otaku whose native language is not Japanese.  

"So desu ne?"

 

One of the forms of media I really enjoy is animation, so naturally I am a fan of anime. Animation is a wonderful way for artists to express their visions of the world & of the fantasy worlds in the artist's mind.  Anime is set apart from American animation because it often caters to adult sensibilities by developing complex story lines, an uncommon instance in it's American counterpart.   Much like the Juggalos however it isn't very healthy to build a lifestyle around it. 

 

Gosh, where to begin?  Let's start with tentacle porn... thanks but no thanks Japan, nice thought & all, filling the internet with over sexualized, underage-looking girls being molested by aliens & monsters & such, but no thank you.

Then of course are the fans of Dragonball Z who have convinced themselves that they have superhuman powers like the characters on the show.  Then they post about their experiences creating the Kamahama Wave while wearing a blonde fright wig. 

 

The future of robotics lies in the creation of giant elaborate manned robots which can only be piloted by highly unstable teenagers (probably Juggalos).

 

The problem with anime is that even the most fanatical otaku will often have another interest that they obsess over nearly as much.  The product of this most unholy union is known as the crossover.   Most often seen in the creation of fanfiction.  There is no reason for anyone to write about a gangbang involving the fictional casts of Sailor Moon & the X-Files, just stop it.

 

Hey, anime is cool, huh?  Yeah I agree, cartoons are cool.  Oops did I just say cartoons?  Maybe that's because they are.  Maybe otaku just call it anime because it's sad when you dress up like a cartoon & it's not Halloween.   

Also could you please stop butchering the Japanese language by using phrases you heard on an episode of Fushigi Yuugi?  People don't really speak like that and you don't even know Japanese.  I don't know French.  So, you don't see me peppering my language with innane catchphrases from French television.  You guys sound mentally damaged.

 

 

Furry/Furries - people who partake in the fandom of and/or visualize themselves as cartoon animals, anthropomorphic animals, or human-animal hybrids.  Often listed as a fetish subculture due to the extreme sexual content of many furry posts and websites.

 

Hands down if I could remove two aspects of the internet with a click of the delete key it would be child pornography and furries.  There are furries who just get their jollies from rolling around with other furries in dog costumes & that's just fine with me, if it makes you happy.  What I am specifically referring to is the darker side of furries which is much more prevalent on the internet.  I'm referring to the endless pages of  anthropomorphic porn of she foxes with 3 foot tall male genitalia covered in their own fox juices.  I'm also talking about the zoophiles.

 

Everytime I am researching a species of animal  I will always stumble across not a legitimate research site but several pages of furry porn, which are often listed like a legit site complete with animal habits & habitats before they slap the porn on you.  Makes me wonder how many kids have done the same.  Even worse are the zoophiles (a subculture of furries) who like to have sex with animals, which they argue is entirely consentual.  I'm sure there's even a subculture that like to have sex with animals while dressed as animals. 

 

Many furries are quite educated, well-spoken individuals, who argue vehemently for their rights.  A good example of this can be found here http://firstlight.net/~chythar/manawolf/home.htm.  A furry who argues that animals are capable of giving sexual consent to humans in her article on the "Morality of Beastiality".  Her argument seems to hang rather loosely on animals wanting to have sex with humans because they have sex with other animals & dogs hump your leg.  However it is well written, I'll give her that.  But then a sociopath is just an eloquent sicko.

 

Vore Fetishes, which usually involve a story about animals or humans having sex with an animal & then someone gets eaten & digested & then pooped out. ::sigh::

Anime Furries, see otaku above, this is another subculture.  I'm sure you can put two and two together.

 

You guys are by far the worst.  Why do you write yourselves into sexual situations in The Lion King?  I liked that movie, why do you want to make it all dirty?  Can't you just have a fulfilling relationship with another human as a human?  I mean it's ridiculous, I have to protect my children from perverts on the internet, now I have to protect my pets too?  Look we don't really understand much about animal behavior, we really don't know that the animals don't want to have sex with us, maybe they do, but let's play it safe & err on the side of not fucking animals, ok?  Nevermind, I'm not even going to ask you to stop, because I know you will never give up raping dolphins while dressed as pandas.